Filmmaker Ross Kileen introduces his new documentary Don't Forget to Remember, which follows the Irish street artist Asbestos as he and his family learn to navigate his mother's diagnosis of Alzheimer’s and cope with her fading memories. This moving film is released in Irish cinemas this September.
Don't Forget to Remember is about an artist trying to come to terms with his mother’s Alzhiemer’s diagnosis. It’s about family, it’s about the fragility of memory but mainly I think it’s a love story.
I have known Asbestos for many years from being involved in various endeavours around Dublin, but we hadn’t seen each other in a long time when we met one day post-Covid. He was doing a mural on O’Connell Street, Dublin and was taking a break. We did the usual "how have you been" chats and he told me about his mum’s diagnosis and how he and his family were coming to terms with it.
I told him about my own family’s story. My mum, Patricia passed away in 2019 after a long struggle with Dementia. As I chatted with Asbestos I realised that I hadn’t really spoken much about it before. It was a subject that was always a conversation killer. It is undeniably tragic and unfair for this to happen to someone and it is very tough for any family going through it.
It's about family, it’s about the fragility of memory but mainly I think it’s a love story.
People find it hard to talk about it (myself included) and when myself and Asbestos spoke, we both felt a little bit lighter. We kept the conversations going which led to discussions around a project we might do together. A film that could provoke conversation around this difficult subject.
Originally we thought it might be a short film or art installation but then an Arts Council grant came up for a feature documentary and we decided to put a proposal together. It all happened fairly quickly, our proposal was approved and we had the challenge of making a film in time for a premiere at the Dublin Film Festival in February 2024.
From the get go I decided that the film would need to be authentic and raw. I wanted to focus on three layers. The first layer was to sit in the room and observe life as a carer and the daily routine of caring for someone. The second layer was about following Asbestos and documenting his process from start to finish. The third layer was to give Helena (his mother) a strong voice in the film.
and it is very tough for any family going through it.'
We are nothing but memories and when we lose them we can be forgotten. It was hugely important to hear her story and celebrate her life.
As much as this film is about Asbestos and his mother and father, it is also about my mother and father and I hope that people watching can see their own families in there too. Everything you see in this film is something that I went through with my family and I hope that these shared experiences can help others.
The film will screen across the country throughout September in conjunction with World Alzheimer’s Month; myself and Asbestos will be present for Q&A’s at certain screenings. On opening night we will be at the IFI in Dublin. We want to provoke conversation with this film and celebrate our memories as they can never be destroyed as long as we continue to share them.
Don't Forget to Remember is at selected cinemas nationwide Friday September 6th - find a screening near you here.
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